Do you remember what it was like when the class of ’74 held the limelight on the Carnival’s Dillingham stage? Take a trip down memory lane via this Ka Punahou review of the 1974 Punahou Carnival Variety Show.
Well, Whip Me … If the Tee-Shirt Fits, Wear It
Talent, and lots of it, best describes this year’s Variety Show presented by the Punahou Class of 1974. Despite the traditional short run, The Tip of My Tongue or I’m Only in it for the T-Shirt played to packed houses of Carnival-goers last Friday and Saturday.
The Show opened with “The Alfred Hitchcock Theme Song” attempting to set the mood of the program. Janitor Bob Sandla appeared on stage and promised that weird things were to be witness[ed]. “Magic to Do” and “Hands and Feet” transformed old Dillingham Hall into a dark and spooky place, much to the delight of the audience.
The principle [sic] characters are introduced to the audience in a “Stop-Start” scene. The family, consisting of Father (Jeff Sia), Mother (Randi Pittman), daughters Ethel (Lisa Lai) and Moon Unit (Lorraine Akiba), tells us that they need a hostage. Agnes (Betsy Abts) complains to her sidekick Doris (Mary Madinger) that her magic is not working properly. Frankenstein (Randy Tucker) and Dweezel (Regina Yarchever) both need a hat that will make them sing well. Hearing their needs, the Madhatter (Jim Simpson) runs to their rescue. However, he decides to give Dweezle the magical hat instead of giving it to Frankenstein. After Dweezle tries it out, the Madhatter reclaims it and walks away. Finally Ralph (David Parrish), who is a mainiac, tells us why he hates women, thus setting up the fourth of five plots.
The plot, or plots, really were [sic] incidental to the entire show. The show had superb dancing, fine music, fantastic make-up and costuming, clever sets, and a special humor that is unique to the Class of ’74.
A particular highlight of the show was the occasional appearance of Pierre the Tongue played by Mark Smith. He scooted around the stage dressed as the slimy friend of Ralph the maniac. Also making a number of appearances was Elmer B. Eagle (Albert Whip Me Rosen), Ralph’s brother. It was Elmer’s job to get the story about the hidden treasure, which served as the basis of the fifth plot.
The student written and produced show now goes into the annals of Punahou history. It certainly won’t be forgotten by those who saw it.
But there really must be something worse than going to the University of Hawaii.
Sung to the tune of the “Toreador Song” from Carmen
If you believe this show is really good, We wish you’d come back, we wish you really would. Elmer and Ethyl’s family would mind; So bring some potato chips and wine; A purple zabuton, maybe some Hinode rice; A wedding would be nice.
Please don’t deny you’d rather watch us die, Please don’t deny, you shouldn’t lie. You know the show ain’t really all that bad; But for your cash you’ve been had; You could’ve had a Coke, two sticks of Wrigley’s gum, But you were too darn dumb!
Now that you’re sick of the drama as a whole; Tough it’s too late, you’ve paid the toll. Think twice before you come again next year; You’ve got something to fear; The freshmen will be good, three years from right now; Thank God our show is pau.